Tag Archives: PIV

Vaginismus, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying & Love Getting Punched in the Face

18 Dec

The following excerpts have been taken from Vaginismus.com. Here is the definition of vaginismus from the website: “vaginal tightness causing discomfort, burning, pain, penetration problems, or complete inability to have intercourse.”

What follows has been altered slightly.

FAQ: How can I stay motivated and positive through treatment? I struggle with avoidance.

Fear, complacency, and avoidance

It is common for people to avoid issues that are difficult, painful, or have uncertain and potentially disheartening outcomes. This is especially true with not wanting to be punched in the face. The pervasive hopelessness that couples feel with not wanting their partner to punch them in the face is defeating and paralyzing. One of the biggest stumbling blocks in getting through your desire not to be smacked in the face is simply dealing with avoidance. Encouragement, love, patience, and communication can go a long way in helping to sustain relationships during trials, but there is simply no substitute for taking positive corrective action to make you feel comfortable with being punched in the face. Facing the problem directly, educating oneself and taking the positive necessary steps to overcome your fear experiencing pain when hit in the face are key to breaking the cycle of avoidance and defeat.

Here are some of the tips on staying motivated during treatment:

Remember the declarations. A woman needs to choose to not allow the pain or failures of the past to continue to impair the successes of the future. It takes time to retrain a person’s body to overcome the fear of being punched in the face. Be positive and embrace a different future potential.

Be determined. Significant life achievements require patient determination. Be determined to overcome your fears and all other stumbling blocks to resolve not wanting to be punched in the face and find freedom. You can do it!

FAQ: How does vaginismus affect husbands or partners of women with vaginismus?

It is important for male partners to understand that experiencing pain is not something the woman intentionally caused to avoid being punched in the face. The fear that causes her to back away from your fist is an unconscious reaction which is involuntary and happens without control or intention.

Even though a woman may very much want to be punched in the face, there is a ‘disconnect’ between her mind and body which triggers fear of being punched in the face.

“Samantha” shares her story:

“I feel like a failure. Why can’t I be punched in the face? The worst part is how it has affected my relationship with Dave, my husband of over four years. I have never been able to let him hit me and yet I so desire to be close in that way and to return that feeling of pain. The fear of being punched in the face as a child so many years ago keeps surfacing. Could this be the problem? I have unhealthy thoughts about myself and feel trapped.

One of the symptoms:

Avoidance of being punched in the face due to pain

When a woman states that she avoids being hit in the face by her husband because being punched does not feel good or has become very painful, a fear of being punched should be strongly considered.


Related reading:

I Blame the Patriarchy: “Thursday Vagina Blogging”

RadFem Hub: “Brad Pitt to Secure Permanent Access to Angelina Jolie’s Vagina?”


Occupy… Your Dick!

16 Oct

Yes, that is an Occupy-Wall-Street-themed condom. Yes, it exists for realzies. Cuz you got to have something to fuck all those “hot chicks” with! The company making these should look into getting it made the official condom of Occupy Wall Street, seeing as they’re already handing out free condoms for the occupiers.

We won’t be screwed! We will come first!

The dudes leading this movement couldn’t have said it better themselves.

Get ‘Em When They’re Young

29 Aug

[Trigger warning for medical coercion and abuse.]

Headline: “Doctors now recommend teens, age 13-15, visit a gynecologist”.

While gynecologists have always seen teenagers with menstrual problems, there’s a new emphasis on building that early relationship. [. . .]

“People are leery. They think it will require an exam,” [. . .] “It’s really just to establish a relationship where they get to know us. It’s a non-threatening environment.”

This move to reel in younger teen girls to the gynecologist’s office isn’t entirely evil. Road to hell, good intentions, etc. However, this all just works to further normalize the constant medical surveillance of female bodies. It’s bad enough as is, but with earlier – and therefore more frequent – visits, girls hardly have the chance to realize that it is not, in fact, necessary to have doctors regularly inspect your genitals or reproductive organs. Rather, even younger girls will now be instructed to worry about the ticking time bomb that is (supposedly) their bodies. It’s never to early to learn that females are faulty versions of males, right?

As noted in the article, “At the first visit, patients receive a pamphlet explaining what to expect.” Before ever getting a gynecological exam (years before, actually), I panicked regularly about the impending visit. I researched what to expect online and forced myself to think of it as totally normal. I cried reading about women’s accounts of their doctor’s visits (even if it was “normal”/not traumatizing). I cried more when I finally found another young woman on a forum saying that she’s terrified and doesn’t want to go through with it. Responding to her, I wrote how I felt the same way and said how I couldn’t even think of the exam without imaging kicking the doctor across the room. (The reason I was considering getting a gynecological exam at age 15 was because I wanted to go on birth control. The 21 year old man I had been chatting with online said he wanted to make sure I wouldn’t get pregnant if we decided to take our “relationship” offline. Nothing ended up happening, thank goodness.) It took me several years before realizing my aversion to these exams wasn’t because I was being “sensitive”; it seemed fucked up because it is fucked up.

Perhaps, at least, these early visits could be used to screen for sexual abuse? This is not on the list of reasons for the visits. These are, though:

“Personal safety, binge drinking and date rape.” Just what every teen girl needs. . . a lecture about how not to be raped!

“Birth control. Most teens using it do so to regulate their periods.” *Het-hem*

“The benefits and safety of the human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine.” Ah, of course.

Merck, the maker of Gardasil, no doubt wants plenty of fresh guinea pigs to sign up for the vaccine. They also are testing the vaccine on girls in India against the competitor’s Cervarix. Why India? It costs less (though, as the linked article describes, it is clearly costing these girls their lives in many, many cases). Here is a very comprehensive article regarding the testing as well as the many risks associated with Gardasil.

These “early visits” are grooming for a life time of interventionist, unnecessary health “screenings” and “check ups”. The HPV-vaccine-pushers will also assure girls that the shots are necessary, because it is presumed that you will be engaging in proper hetero sex (PIV). Lesbian? Asexual? Just don’t want a painis in yourgina? Who cares! Shots for all!

Gynecology never ceases to amaze me in its ability to be the full-package when it comes to patriarchal bullshit.


CherryBlossomLife on RadFemHub: “Polish Government proposal: Submit to compulsory gynecological examinations, or be fired “ [warning for gynecological illustrations and descriptions of related horrors]

A film called “One More Girl” is in production right now, set to be released in 2012. The documentary will reveal the numerous adverse effects that girls and women have suffered from getting Garasil.

Links: July 19, 2011

19 Jul

The F Word: from Meghan Murphy, “Of course pornography is a prisoner’s right. Because women aren’t actually human beings.”

I Blame the Patriarchy: “A bit of lighthearted fun”. . . so it’s on consent and PIV, of course!

Echidne of the Snakes: “The Elizabeth Warren Case”. . . on Elizabeth Warren, who essentially created the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, being passed over for Obama’s nomination to lead it. Who got it? A dude with the same exact views as Warren.

Woman on a Journey: “Are t-shirts a women’s right? (Or, maybe they’d rather we go topless)” . . . on the creator of woman-born-woman shirts being threatened into stopping production.

Twanzphobic Since Forever: “Excuse me, which way to the Squirrel Bathroom?” . . . seriously commit this sentence to memory:

Any so-called internal identity that requires any form of external validation, is not an internal identity at all.

Cherryblossomlife: “Manufacturing GID” . . . on how ‘gender presentation’ is totally dependent on people buying a bunch of shit.

Femonade: “Strange Days”. . . on the horrific songs/videos for Rihanna’s S&M and Katy Perry’s E.T.

Newsweek: “The Growing Demand for Prostitution”. . . on a new study about ‘users’ of prostitutes and pornography [TW for sexual violence]. Perhaps the saddest part:

“We had big, big trouble finding nonusers,” Farley says. “We finally had to settle on a definition of non-sex-buyers as men who have not been to a strip club more than two times in the past year, have not purchased a lap dance, have not used pornography more than one time in the last month, and have not purchased phone sex or the services of a sex worker, escort, erotic masseuse, or prostitute.”